Before She Wakes
by chlorineobsession
Summary: [Shikaino/ shikatema /inotema friend-fic with *obviously* a shikatema focus] He always prided himself on being able to take the most pragmatic approach to things, but at that moment, he felt as though someone had given him a bucket and told him to empty out the sea. Temari is broken, and it's up to Ino and Shikamaru to fix her.
1. Chapter 1-The Beginning

He had never seen her in such a state.

Shikamaru had been peacefully enjoying an afternoon nap when a knock on the door had woken him. Grumbling, he reluctantly got off the sofa and opened the door to his apartment to see Ino standing at the entrance.

Her hair was a mess and her eyes were more than just a little bloodshot. The moment her gaze settled on his, she barged into him and wound her slim arms around his middle.

"Shika," she sobbed quietly. "I'm so worried!"

He sat her down on his sofa as he went to brew some rosehip tea for her. She'd nagged him into trying it a few weeks back, but he'd detested it so he kept the packet at the back of his cupboard in case she came over to visit him.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he set the cup down in front of her and sat by her side, placing a comforting arm around her shoulder.

To anyone else, the scene would have seemed as though he were comforting a crush or a lover, but it was nothing of the sort. Ino was like a sister to him. They'd been friends for so long that even though he was used to the raised eye brows whenever she'd throw herself on to him in the street or kissed his cheek, it still made him feel a little sick to even think of Ino in any way other than as a best friend.

"Ino. What's wrong?" He asked again, growing worried as she held the cup so tightly that her knuckles were even paler than usual.

She mumbled three short syllables, but he didn't quite hear what she'd said.

"Sorry?"

She rose her gaze to meet his and swallowed deeply before repeating what she'd said.

"Temari."

He tensed at the name.

"What about her?"

"She..." Ino shook her head. "She's not alright."

"What happened?" Shikamaru was becoming far more worried by the second. He knew how reckless the Sunan nin could be.

"I don't know Shikamaru, it's been three days, and she still hasn't said a word to me about... Anything!"

"Wait, she's in Konoha?"

"Yeah. She showed up at my house in the middle of the night and she just kinda... Collapsed. I managed to get her up the stairs and into bed, I was going to get Sakura to give her a checkup, but she started panicking and made me promise not to tell anyone she was there." Ino sighed and wiped her eyes. "The next day, I went to see if she was feeling better and she was staring blankly at the wall. I tried speaking to her but she only nodded or shook her head and kept on mumbling: 'tell no one' but I don't think she's slept the entire time she's been here."

Shikamaru frowned and thought about what he'd just heard. Surely if he were to show up, it would only cause problems for Ino, but he couldn't just leave Temari in the state that she was in.

"I'll go see her, alright? Head home, and I'll show up as if I'm just visiting you, and then I'll see what I can do. Okay?"

"Okay." She straightened herself out as best she could before standing up to smile at him. "Thanks, I knew I could count on you."

He waited for half an hour after she'd left before heading out himself.

One thing that Ino could never be accused of was being a bad friend. He'd seen how Sakura turned her back to Ino over their "Sasuke feud", and Ino tore herself apart over it. Though they were friends again, he was still slightly apprehensive of the pink haired girl.

As he arrived at Ino's house, he rang the doorbell and waited for eight seconds as Ino skipped to the front door and opened it.

"Oh, Shikamaru!" She said with a voice of surprise. "Come in!"

He walked into her house and pulled off his shoes. "Hey Ino, I think I left one of my books here the last time I stayed in the guest bedroom, do you mind if I go get it?"

"Oh..." Ino bit her lip. "I can get it for you if you'd like? Wait here."

She dropped her voice and stepped in closer to him, whispering "Give me ten seconds in case she isn't decent and then you can go in."

She stepped loudly up the stairs, allowing him to match her pace more quietly so as not to be heard.

As she opened the door and slipped in, Shikamaru shut his eyes and slowly counted to ten as he heard Ino grumble something along the lines of"That lazy shit forgot to take his book home!"

He stepped into the room.

"I think I also left my-" he didn't have to feign surprise at seeing Temari, because her appearance was shocking. "T-Temari, are you..."

He know not to finish the question, the answer was already an obvious No.

He changed tack as he knelt by the bed and looked at her.

"What happened?"

Her face was ghostly pale and her cheeks seemed hollowed. Her eyes were rimmed with dark bags and her lips were cracked and bleeding in places. She said nothing and just stared at him blankly, trembling slightly.

"Temari?"

A faint sound came from her mouth and he leaned in closer to hear her better. "What?" He asked.

"Tell. No one."

He pulled back and moved to place a hand on her forehead when she flinched at his action and for just a moment, he saw emotion in her eyes.

Pure terror.

He quickly brought his hand back to his side and kept a safe distance from her. He didn't know what to say.

"Ino. You have to get a doctor."

"I've tried to examine her for any injuries, but she's refused and she started lashing out when I tried to... Restrain her." She looked away, embarrassed.

Shikamaru didn't judge her, she was simply concerned for her friend. If Temari had reacted like that to Ino, there was no telling how crazy she'd go if anyone else tried to see her.

"She hasn't left the bedroom except to shower every five hours or so and... She just..." Ino motioned to her friend, lacking words to describe her.

"I understand."

He frowned as he thought about the predicament that he was in. He always prided himself on being able to take the most pragmatic approach to things, but at that moment, he felt as though someone had given him a bucket and told him to empty out the sea.

He didn't have enough information to work with. He wasn't sure wether Temari was traumatised emotionally or physically and he didn't know how to help her.

"I'll come back tonight." He told Ino. "I just need to get my thoughts together."

The blonde nodded and Shikamaru left her house to hurry back to his apartment.

He bought chestnuts, a novel and a small sketch book that came with a pencil. After a quick dinner of instant noodles, he set out for Ino's house once more.

He was of course worried, but somehow, he was angry at the same time. Angry at whatever (or _who_ ever) was responsible for making Temari be how she was, but also angry at himself for not being trustworthy enough for Temari to have gone to him instead of Ino.

He let himself into Ino's house and headed straight for the guest bedroom. As he walked in, he saw that the bed was empty and he heard the water from the shower running in the en suite bathroom.

"Shikamaru?" He turned to find Ino standing in the doorway with a sad expression on her face as she motioned for him to sit on the bed, taking a seat beside him.

"I think I have a vague idea of what it might be," she said carefully, as though picking the wrong words would be the end of the world. "I think that-"

She stopped talking as the sound of the water being turned off reached their ears. She leapt off the bed and pulled Shikamaru along with her, dragging him out of the room.

They went downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Well?"

Ino massaged her forehead and sighed.

"I don't know, Shikamaru. I think she was..." She made an expectant gesture with her hand as though she didn't want to say the word but he knew what she meant. He didn't.

After he'd stared at her blankly for for ten seconds she sighed again.

"I think she was raped, Shikamaru."

He suddenly felt empty.

He had considered it, of course, but hearing it said by someone else was far worse. It made sense: Not wanting to talk about it, manically cleaning herself, not wanting to let people see her, flinching when a guy tried to touch her...

He swallowed down a lump that had formed in his throat and shut his eyes. "Can I um, have a minute to think about this please?"

Ino nodded and left the kitchen. "Come up when you're ready."

He sat at the kitchen table and rested his head in his hands. He knew that it was still only a possibility, but it didn't take his high intelligence to guess what had gotten Temari in such a state.

What had broken her.

He set his hands in his usual thinking stance and said nothing for hours as he tried to find a way he could fix her.

"Ino, can I ask you for a favour please?" Shikamaru asked when Ino walked back into the room.

"Sure, what is it?" She asked as she opened the fridge and looked through it, a small frown in place.

"Can I stay the night? I um-"

"Yes. You can stay," Ino said with a small smile. "You don't need to justify yourself. We're both worried."

She left after a moment and came back with a small bundle of clothes.

"These are Sai's, he left them here the last time so I washed them for him. He wouldn't mind you borrowing them, I'm sure." He thanked her and went to the bathroom to get changed.

"Shikamaru?" She called through the door. "You can stay as long as you like. Bring your things over tomorrow and we can organise something more convenient for you two."

Shikamaru didn't even try to argue with her, he knew it would be pointless.

"Thank you, Ino. Really, thanks."

* * *

 **A/N: I just wrote this? Idk if I'll continue it, but a thought just hit me so I had to type it down. I guess if I do end up continuing this, the rating might be a bit higher than my usual stuff, I hope you don't mind?**

 **For anyone who has read my other stuff, you will definitely have noticed just how much I *adore* Ino, so I guess I just really wanted to write a piece where she plays a bigger part.**

 **A review would be greatly appreciated! Again, this might just be a one-shot so if I don't update, it's because I gave up on this piece. Also, idk if I'll change the title at some point. Okie, lets leave this!**

 **Please follow/fave/ Review!**

 **~Lee!**


	2. Chapter 2-Lemongrass

The next day, Shikamaru left at the crack of dawn to get his belongings. The walk between his and Ino's houses was only twenty minutes long, but there was no point in him walking to and from his place everyday. He didn't know how long it would take to get Temari to open up.

He took a few t-shirts and trousers along with books, his Shōgi board and some food. On his way back, he stopped by the park and just sat on a bench and stared blankly at a tree in the distance. It would be inaccurate to say that he was thinking hard about a solution. The truth was, he was still too shocked to speak.

And so he stared.

Eventually, he stood up and made his way to Ino's house.

"Hi," he called as he walked in. He went to the kitchen and saw Ino seated at the table. Crying.

"Hey," he slid into the seat opposite her and reached for her hands. "Ino. It's okay."

She shook her head and blubbered a bit. "I can't imagine what she's gone through, Shika."

"I know. I know, but right now she needs us to stay strong for her."

Ino observed him for a moment and nodded. "Yeah. You're right, okay."

She wiped her eyes and sniffed once more.

"Shikamaru, she's lucky you love her so much."

"Yeah." He found himself chuckling. Ino knew how much he liked Temari, and at that moment he was too drained to even deny it as he had been doing for the past months.

"I need to go food shopping, I don't think I have anything that she'd enjoy for long. I've been feeding her salads for the past few days." Ino said, rubbing her eyes some more. "There are some different cereals in the cupboard, can you try to feed her some breakfast while I'm out?"

"Sure."

When Ino left, he picked out a plain enough cereal and filled a bowl of it along with some milk. He put it on a tray with a glass of orange juice and a small cup of tea.

"Temari, I'm coming in," he called when he reached the bedroom door. No reply came, and he eventually opened the door to find her seated on her bed and staring blankly at the wall opposite her.

"Hi." He greeted as he set the tray down on the bedside table and sat on the ground in front of her. He had to look up to see her face, making him seem vulnerable, but that would probably help for her to feel less intimidated by his presence.

"I brought you breakfast."He announced.

She didn't even move her eyes from where they were focussed, but Shikamaru thought he saw the flicker of a frown flash across her face.

He slowly rose to sit beside her on the bed, carefully making sure that some distance remained between them. He pulled the tray onto his lap and offered the bowl to her, but she remained unresponsive.

Deciding on a different approach, he took a spoonful and brought it to her, taking his time so as not to startle her. Mechanically, she opened her mouth, allowing him to feed her. It was dismal. His first time in the same bed as Temari was spent spooning soggy cereal into her mouth.

 _Not_ what he'd been dreaming of for the past few months.

He finished feeding her after ten grueling minutes and he handed her the tea, which she held in her own hands. After she took hold of it, her face finally moved of its own accord as she turned to face him. She seemed slightly surprised to see him there, before recognition dawned on her.

"Thankyou." She said, her voice slightly husky.

He managed a smile. "No problem,"

He was about to rest a hand on her shoulder when he remembered how she'd reacted the night before.

Hesitantly, he moved slightly closer to her. Slowly, bit by bit, until only a few inches remained between them.

Carefully, he turned so that they were face-to-face.

"Temari?"

Her gaze was distant, but more alert than it had been before.

"How are you?"

She opened her mouth to answer when her mask of blankness suddenly crumbled and her breathing rate increased, her eyes briskly flitted around the room, alert.

"Temari, shhh," he said in the most comforting tone he could manage. It took all his self control not to wrap his arms around her and to hold her tight to him.

"DON'T YOU SHUSH ME!" She gasped, leaning away from him.

"Tem, it's alright. It's just me." He stayed where he was as she let her breathing even out.

"Shikamaru." She said after a minute. She surprised him by scooting over to where he was seated and stopping only a foot short of him.

"I'm... I'm sorry."she said, looking as though she'd just awoken from a trance. "I'm so sorry!"

He stopped hesitating and simply pulled her in for a hug, taking the cup from her hand as he did so. She gasped and tensed up, but eventually she brought her hands tentatively around him.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Temari." He felt her nod in his arms, saying nothing.

She was still slightly distant when he pulled away. It made sense, she blocked herself out to cope with trauma. She distanced herself from what had happened. He reminded himself that there was still no proof that his and Ino's guess was accurate, but he still couldn't think of anything else that out could have been...

"Temari, if you want to talk about it..."

"Talk about what?" Temari asked, before it suddenly dawned on her. She shuffled back again and her eyes widened as she leapt off the bed and ran to the bathroom. Shikamaru thought he heard a muffled sob right before the water was turned on in the shower.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes, trying to think of how he could make her talk about what had happened.

About a half hour later, Temari stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed and a shade or two redder than when she'd gone in. Either the water had been scalding hot or...

"Give me a minute, will you?" He padded into the bathroom as Temari wordlessly settled held back in her bed. He was hit with a strong smell of citrus and something else he couldn't name. He observed the shower a little better and found exactly what he'd expected to see. A stiff, bristly nail brush was on the side of the shower head, placed innocently on its side as though it had done no wrong.

Shikamaru clenched his fists and set his jaw. He didn't care who it was, he was going to kill the bastard who had done this to her.

"Temari?" He asked as he walked back into the room, holding the brush in his hands. She was more conscious than she had been before hand, but it still wasn't the Temari he knew. He placed the nail brush on the bedside table and watched as her eyes darted guiltily towards it for a brief second.

He sighed and sat opposite her on the bed.

"Tell no one." The helplessness in her voice was enough to to make him cry, not that he would do that in her presence.

"I won't." He reassured her.

She swallowed and looked away from him. She was dressed in the same clothes as the day before and he reached forward to place his hands gently over hers.

"If you need to talk, you can always come to me." She looked back up and meet his gaze. "Tell no one."

He gripped her hands gently, trying not to startle her as he lifted one slightly. She was completely tense, and he slowly raised her hand between the two of them, turning it over so that it was palm-up.

He didn't take his eyes away from hers as he slowly moved her sleeve up, revealing raw red skin. With his hand, he carefully trailed his fingers from her fingertip to the inside of her elbow. She shivered at his touch, but he could feel her relax as he kept his eyes on her.

"Temari. It's me." He had to reassure her somehow that he was erasing the other man's touch with his own. He brought his fingers back down to hers and laced them together, holding them up for her to see. "It's me."

She opened her mouth to say something, but at that moment Ino's front door opened and her voice called "I'm _hoooome_!".

Temari jumped slightly, pulling her hand from Shikamaru's loose grip.

Ino walked up the stairs and knocked gently on the door before walking in with a few bags hanging from her wrists.

"Hello Temari," she said gently "I got some clothes, since you didn't bring any. I wasn't sure about your bra size though..." She trailed off when she laid her eyes on Shikamaru who went a deep shade of red at Ino's words.

"Hi Ino."

Ino's eyes widened at Temari's greeting.

She shooed Shikamaru out of the room so that she could help dress Temari into some clean clothes.

Once downstairs, Shikamaru started putting the rest of Ino's shopping away. He found himself smiling when he saw all the ingredients for Kenchin-jiru, as well as some chestnuts for roasting.

"Shikamaru," Ino walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him. "I don't know what you did, but she's opened up a little. Thankyou."

He smiled. "I'm glad."

It was then that he heard the sob.

"Ino, what is it?"

Ino let him go and he turned to face her as she raised her eyes to look at him. "I got a look at her as I was helping her dress."

He waited for her to continue.

She said nothing and simply bit her lip and gave a slow nod before leaving him alone to his thoughts.

Leaning against the kitchen counter, Shikamaru pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled deeply. His fist was clenched and he knew he was shaking, but he didn't care.

"Fuck." He breathed, trying to keep his voice down. " _Fuck_."

He didn't know how he'd ended up there, buy he realised a few hours later that he was lying on the couch, gripping one of the floral patterned cushions.

"Hey," Ino came to sit beside him and she handed him a mug of mint tea.

"Thanks."

She gave him a weak smile and patted his shoulder.

"She's talking a bit. She asked about the weather." Ino said softly. "I'm going to try get her to open up a little more tonight, she fell asleep so I don't want to wake her, I don't know how long it's been since she last got some shut eye."

They drank their tea in silence and Ino went to get some pillows and blankets so that he would be more comfortable than he had been the night before. They settled back down on the sofa in a comfortable silence. Shikamaru was about to suggest they go talk to Temari when a shuffling sound came from the stairs, moments before the living room door creaked open a little and Temari stuck her head through.

"Um. Hi guys," she said as she walked over and sat in one of the armchairs near the sofa. Her hair was down and slightly messy, and she was wearing a pair of fluffy grey pyjama bottoms with a t-shirt and a hoodie.

"Temari," Ino smiled, scooting to the edge of the sofa and patting the space between her and Shikamaru as an invitation. Temari looked as though she was about to accept the offer when her face suddenly paled and she shook her head.

Ino instantly went into Psychologist mode.

"How are you feeling? Did you sleep well?"

"Y-yeah," Temari mumbled. "I haven't slept in six days. I took stimulants to get here, I guess I just took too many."

She chuckled nervously and Ino gave Shikamaru a look.

"Um. Why are you in Konoha, Temari?"

Her head snapped up at his question. He could see the gears turning in her head and he almost expected an honest answer. That didn't happen.

"Just... Visiting. Seeing friends."

Ino rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen, coming back moments later with a steaming mug of tea. She pushed it into Temari's hands and sat back down on the sofa.

"Temari, all though it may seem like it, I am no idiot." Ino said softly. "I know that something happened, I just need you to tell me what it is."

Temari sighed and set the cup down, clearly weighing her options in her head.

"I can't tell you in case..."

"In case what?" Shikamaru asked. "In case we try help you? In case we solve something?"

She stared at him. "My reputation is at stake, Shikamaru. I cant risk people finding out."

"We're not going to tell people!" Ino exclaimed. "We just want to talk about it. I can easily find out exactly what happened in detail with a few quick hand seals, and that's exactly what I'll do if you don't tell us yourself."

Temari went pale once more and she slowly nodded. "Please don't tell anyone... Gaara and Kankurō would be disgraced."

"Think about yourself for a moment," Shikamaru snapped, startling the two blondes.

"Shikamaru... " Ino frowned. "Don't be too harsh."

"This isn't harsh, she needs to stop focussing on her brothers. She came all the way here, clearly she couldn't even tell them what happened!"

Temari stood and suddenly, she was gripping Shikamaru by the collar.

"That is _not_ why I left Suna." She growled. "I didn't come to Konoha for people to question me either."

"Temari," Ino said firmly. "Would it be easier if Shikamaru left?"

Shikamaru made to argue with her, but Ino held up a hand.

"Shikamaru, I know you're worried sick, but you can't be selfish about this." Ino said sympathetically.

He closed his mouth and nodded, turning to Temari. She sighed and sank back down into the armchair.

"I don't really mind if Shikamaru hears," She mumbled eventually. "You'll probably tell him anyways."

He did his best to give her an encouraging look, but she was staring at her knees.

"Temari?" Ino looked at her expectantly.

"Oh. Yeah." Temari looked back up at them and shivered slightly again. "Um..."

She fidgeted with the end of her sleeve.

"I um. I was... I was-"

"Would it be easier if I talked?" Ino asked. Temari nodded eagerly as Ino got off the sofa and knelt in front of her, resting a hand on the older girl's knee.

"Does it involve another person?"

"Not...exactly."

"Two other people?"

"Three."

"Three other people?"

Temari nodded slowly and shivered again.

"Temari. Were you raped?"

She bit her lip and looked down, covering her face with her hands. Shikamaru didn't miss the nod.

He felt sick in the pit of his stomach, but he knew better than to say anything.

"Temari, are you okay if we continue talking about this?"

She shook her head and stood up, leaving the sitting room.

"Three." Ino whispered. "I will kill them. I swear, I will slice them up and feed them to their dogs. _I will make them be dead_."

Shikamaru covered himself with a blanket and lay down on the couch, turning his back to Ino so that she wouldn't see him cry only hours after he'd told her not to.

"I'm going to bed," Ino said after a moment. He felt her hand touch his shoulder as he passed. "Try get some sleep."

After she left, Shikamaru sat up again and ran his hands through his hair.

He walked to the bathroom to have a shower, and as he passed by the guest bedroom, he saw that the light was switched on inside. He gently knocked.

"Yes?"

"Can I come in?"

"Sure."

He opened the door and stepped inside the bedroom. The door to the en suite bathroom was open, showing a fogged mirror. He assumed she'd already had a shower. She had taken her hoodie off and was seated cross-legged in her bed wearing a baggy black t-shirt.

"Can I sit down?"

She nodded and he sat opposite her in the same position. He wasn't sure what to say, so he just said the only thing he could think.

"I'm going to kill them."

She looked shocked. "Shikamaru, it isn't worth it, don't say things like that."

He shook his head, "This has nothing to do with worth, Temari what they did to you is unforgivable. Killing them would probably be _merciful_ at this point."

She fell silent and observed the creases on the bed sheets between them.

" Why couldn't you have told Gaara and Kankurō?"

"Gaara wasn't the problem. It was Kankurō. I knew he would cause a lot of problems, and I couldn't have anyone finding out. It would disgrace the family."

"How would it disgrace the family?"

She gave him a pointed look and an empty laugh.

"Shikamaru, I don't think you're aware of how important I am to Suna."

"I am. You're easily one of the best Shinobi they have!"

She gave that chillingly empty laugh once more.

"Not in that sense. As someone who is practically royalty, I can be bartered to foreign nobles in return for something that will benefit my country." She explained, "I'm worth more if I'm...' Pure '. But now... I don't know who will have me."

"Oh god, Temari don't say that. What happened wasn't your fault, and in no way have you been devalued. I know what you're going through is hard, but I also know that you're still the same woman who can tear down an entire forest with the flick of a wrist. No matter how dark the night may be, morning is always going to come.

"You should know by now that your brothers see you as more than some trading token, and you should marry someone who you love, and who loves you. Your worth more than your... 'purity'? Is that the word you used? Screw that."

She was staring at him as he finished his rant.

"Shikamaru, Thanks. That's... Sweet."

He tried not to blush under her gaze.

"But I couldn't even fight off three guys. I mean, sure, they tampered with my drink, but still..." She shook her head and sighed. "I was so fucking stupid..."

Shikamaru put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"None of it was your fault. The circumstances don't mean shit in this situation."

She placed her hand on top of his.

"What have I done to deserve a friend like you?" She said softly.

"I believe you saved my life."

She chuckled. "True."

They stayed seated in silence for a few minutes until Temari stood up to go to the bathroom.

"Don't shower."

She turned to face him with a worried expression on her face.

"But-"

"No buts. You've already had at least five washes today alone."

"Shikamaru. I can still _feel_ them under my skin." She said this with a flat emotionless voice that almost made him tremble, but he held his ground.

"They're gone. Temari, listen to me. Your arms were on the verge of bleeding this morning. It's not healthy."

She clenched her fist and went back to sitting where she'd been before. "Okay."

"Thank you."

They were silent for a while and Temari brought one of her lithe hands to his. Subconsciously, he drew small circular patterns on the inside of her palm, trailing them up to her wrist. She said nothing, but he heard a contented sigh slip from her lips.

"If there's anything I can do to help..."

"I'll let you know."

He could smell citrus, but he still couldn't identify what the second scent was. He brought her wrist up closer to his face and took a deep breath.

"What's the aroma?" He asked, relishing the smell for as long as he could.

"Er, sweet lime and lemongrass I think."

"Lemongrass?"

She nodded and went to the bathroom, coming back with a small bottle. She squeezed a tiny amount of the product onto her wrist and rubbed it in to her skin before holding her arm out to him. He inhaled the smell, and nodded.

"That's the one." He didn't move away from her, instead he brought her wrist closer to him, brushing the soft skin with his lips. Her breath caught in her throat and she sank down onto the bed.

"Lemongrass." She repeated.

"I like it."

He released his grip on her wrist, but she didn't pull away from him. Instead, she brought her hand to his face and just rested it on his cheek. Her touch was warm and soft, not what he'd expected from someone who could kill someone with a glare.

"You should go." She whispered eventually.

He got off the bed and walked to the bathroom. After a quick shower, he went to the sitting room and fell asleep on the sofa.

He didn't dream.

* * *

 **A/N: I was going to wait to post this, but then I got a _lovely_ review that I just _had_ to reply to (because I'm P.E.T.T.Y). Before I begin my rant, I'd like to point out that I'm all for constructive criticism, freedom of expression etc. But when someone says something that is blatantly wrong, gurl imma strike.**

 **To the guest who hasn't the balls to create an account so I can call them out in a more civil manner through PMs:**

 **I agree. Clichés suck. I threw in a few extra ones in this chapter too, just for you hon ;)**

 **I also agree that when people tear down strong characters (especially Temari) it's annoying. Here's the thing though: When someone is raped, they don't bounce back like a ball (of which you possess none).**

 **When someone gets raped (or even molested, I'm not cruel enough to suggest that you try it, trust me it is fucking horrible) it's only normal for them to become defensive and to zone out, even just for a few days. Being human isn't a weakness, and I think that people make Temari out to be emotionless sometimes, and that's a bigger problem. Also, strength can literally just be the ability to know where your limits lie.**

 **If you're one of those conservative people who thinks that women should just "shut up and deal with it" then I'm sorry, but you can feck off.**

 **We can't keep on treating things like rape and sexual harassment as though it's taboo, that's why this world has so many issues right now (*Trump*), and why women still don't have even half as many rights as they deserve.**

 **Look dude, maybe I just misinterpreted your review, or maybe nothing I can say will change what you think of my writing (and that doesn't really bother me a huge amount) but can you please be a little more open minded, especially when you've only read a single chapter. Temari is strong, and trust me-she is gonna fuck shit up in this story, but you're just gonna have to wait.**

 **If you want to write another review that you think will make me feel bad about my writing, feel free to do so under a name so that I know you're the same person.**

 **Thank you to everyone else who reviewed, I was hoping to mention the nicer ones, but I have actually written a lot more than expected for our lovely Guest.**

 **Please follow/fave/review (Positively or negatively, I can take a verbal hit)**

 **Thanks!**

 **~Lee;)**


	3. Chapter 3-Hard To Come By

One occurrence that was as rare as a blue moon was when Shikamaru woke up of his own accord before midday. This was one of those times.

It was about seven o'clock in the morning when he got up from the sofa and made his way towards the guest bedroom. Once outside, he knocked. There came no reply, and he was about to move away to let her sleep in when he heard running water. He sighed and opened the door.

Sure enough, Temari's bed was empty when he stepped in, so he sat down and waited. The water stopped running and the door to the en suite opened a few moments later. Temari walked out with a fluffy towel wrapped around her, revealing a scandalous amount of leg, making him stare for a moment longer than would be considered appropriate. She froze like a rabbit in headlights when she saw Shikamaru, who quickly turned away.

"S-sorry,"he stammered, going red in the face.

"Um... That's okay?" She walked over to the bed and took a small tote bag filled with clothes before heading back into the bathroom and closing the door without another word.

Shikamaru knew not to leave, but he was mortified. Before he could come up with a valid reason to get out of the room, the bathroom door opened again and Temari walked out, dressed in a t-shirt and leggings.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest defensively and leaning against the wall.

"I wanted to see if you slept okay, but you were in the shower, so I stayed to make sure you didn't completely shred your skin with the nail brush. Again."

Temari looked away guiltily and Shikamaru just sighed. He got up and walked over to where she stood, holding her at arms-length and looking down at her face.

"I know it's hard. I sympathise with you in that regard, but destroying yourself isn't going to solve anything."

She glanced up to meet his gaze and nodded slowly. "Sorry."

"Don't be." He let his hands slide down her arms and frowned when he saw them.

Her right arm was red and raw, but her left arm was almost perfectly untouched.

"Temari?" He asked, holding up her arms for her own inspection, and sounding just about as confused as he was. "What makes your right arm worse than your left?"

She blushed and pulled her arms from his grasp, looking away. "They're still on the right arm. I can f-feel them."

He brought his hand to her chin and tilted her face up. Without saying anything, he took hold of her right hand and gently moved his fingers from her wrist to the inside of her elbow and back down to her fingertips, just as he'd done with her left arm the day before. He was slow and careful, and he didn't look away from her face the whole time.

He was putting his theory to the test.

"How do you feel?" He asked, as he laced their fingers together and removed his other hand from her chin.

"B-better."

He almost laughed as he pulled her in and held her close. "That easy?"

"Not quite." She moved her head up to look at his face and he pressed his forehead to hers.

"I don't know how you do it." She said, as she brought her hand up and delicately touched his cheek.

"Do what?" He asked. He could feel her breath pass from her mouth to his, and it made him realise how close they were to each other.

"You almost make it all feel better."

She stepped away from him and didn't meet his eye as she moved to the bed and picked up a jumper to pull on.

"I'm getting breakfast, you coming?"

When Ino joined them a short while later, they exchanged "Hello"s and ate in a comfortable silence until Temari cleared her throat and looked at Ino.

"What is it, Temari?"

"I was wondering if we could um, talk about It a bit. If that's alright."

Ino smiled, "Of course, anytime!"

"The thing is..." Temari bit her lip and her eyes darted to Shikamaru. "I don't know if I'm going to be able to say it in words, but...If you want... If you want to see what it um-"

"I know what you're saying Temari, don't worry. You shouldn't be embarrassed to ask about it. I don't mind at all. If it saves you the awkwardness of speaking about it, I'll have a look."

Temari smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Ino."

They set themselves up in the sitting room as Ino explained the procedure to Temari.

"This technique is normally used to extract information from people. You won't be harmed in the process, but you might turn out a bit dazed for a few minutes afterwards. You won't be conscious either as I see the memory. Is that alright?"

Temari nodded and sat down in the same armchair as the night before, Ino and Shikamaru sat on the three-person sofa.

"Are you sure about this?" Ino asked for easily the hundredth time.

"Yes. The quicker I get it out of me, the sooner I can get back to normal."

"Alright. Close your eyes for me and stay as still as you can."

Shikamaru vaguely wondered why Temari's eyes had to be closed, but after a short series of hand gestures, Ino clapped her hand to his and suddenly, he was projected into a very strange setting.

 **The room was dim. It was almost as though spotlights were shining on a select few people. Temari was seated on a bar stool, wearing her black kimono with her hair in its usual style. The drink in front of her was hazy, as though the memory itself wasn't well formed enough to remember certain details.**

 **The bartender was saying something, which Temari laughed at before asking for another drink.**

 **"It'll be my last one," she said with a grin.**

 **He went to fetch her the drink as a man slid into the seat beside her. His face was clear, meaning it must have been important to the memory. He began to talk about Gaara.**

 **"Great Kazekage, your brother is." His smile was lopsided, and he had handsome features.**

 **"Yup!" Temari said, glancing briefly at the man before turning from him.**

 **"You should be proud of him. He really does your clan justice."**

 **Temari turned to face him and her smile was more gentle. "I _am_ proud of him."**

 **"I'm Kaito," he said, holding out his hand.**

 **"Temari." Temari said, even though she knew that he knew who she was.**

 **"Pleasure."**

 **They shook hands and the bartender came with Temari's drink and her bill. She reached to pay for it, but Kaito held up his hand.**

 **"Please, allow me."**

 **Temari shook her head but Kaito playfully slid her drink away from her.**

 **"I'll give you your drink if you let me pay." He said, a coy smile playing at his lips.**

 **"My, what a gentleman." Temari said with a laugh. "I would refuse, but I _really_ want that drink."**

 **He slid her drink back across the counter, his wrist turning awkwardly, but not enough to be noticed by a slightly inebriated and unsuspecting Temari.**

 **She smiled at him as she took a sip.**

 **And another.**

 **It wasn't until she'd finished her drink that she seemed to notice anything being off.**

 **"I should go." She said as she got nervously to her feet.**

 **"Of course. Goodbye, Temari."**

 **Temari began walking towards the entrance. The memory was being affected by whatever Kaito had slipped into her drink, and sounds became numb as though she was underwater, and the ceiling seemed to bend a bit as she walked.**

 **She got out of the bar and began walking, trying to keep her focus, but clearly failing as she stumbled slightly and fell to the ground. A man came up from behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder.**

 **"Are you alright?" He asked.**

 **"Yes. I'm fine, thankyou." She got to her feet and the man wrapped an arm around her waist.**

 **"Allow me to help you."**

 **Temari said nothing as the sky continued to spin overhead and he led her into a quiet street before pushing her down to a back alley. He was laughing now.**

 **"We're going the wrong way..." Temari observed with a frown.**

 **The man snickered once more and a third person who was already in the alley came over to them and held Temari's arms to the ground, far enough away from each other that she couldn't weave a single hand sign.**

 **Once her arms were pinned down, Temari began to look around frantically.**

 **"Why are we here?" She asked flatly.**

 **The laughing man knelt down at her side and brought his hand to her cheek, stroking her skin.**

 **"Sshhh," he said. "Sshhh."**

 **He chuckled and Kaito turned in to where they were.**

 **"Well well," he smirked, his lopsided grin plastered to his face. "Someone's in a bit of a mess, it would seem."**

 **The man with the laugh brought a thin sheet of material over Temari's mouth and her eyes started to widen as she realised what was happening.**

 **"Don-" she gasped before he tightened it.**

 **"Sshhh," he said again. He laughed.**

 **Kaito gave his lopsided grin again as he reached down and opened her kimono, roughly pulling at the obi until it fell away. After opening it, Shikamaru turned away, shutting his eyes and covering his face with his hands.**

"Ino. Let me out."

After Shikamaru was released from the jutsu, he left the room where the two unconscious blondes were lying.

He rushed to the bathroom and locked the door, leaning against it as he felt tears sting the back of his eyes. He had one of the three names. _Kaito_.

He splashed some cold water on his face and tried to get rid of the trembling fit that was affecting him. She had it harder, he had to show that he could support her.

Besides, he'd seen how she relaxed when she was with him. He rubbed his eyes again and sighed. How troublesome, now he had to avenge the woman he loved.

* * *

"How about a game of Shōgi?" Shikamaru suggested as Temari came downstairs for lunch later that day.

She nodded eagerly. As he set up the game, he looked at her body language.

Her arms were on her lap, crossed at the wrist- _defensive_. Her fingers were drumming out a gentle rhythm against her thigh- _weary._ Her posture was rigid- _alert_ -and she was leaning forwards slightly in her seat- _expectant._

She was biting her lip. _Preoccupied._

"If you want to talk about anything-"

"I will," she said.

He was glad that she was answering quickly.

Fleeting eye contact - _guilt_.

"Temari, did you take a shower recently?"

"Y-yeah."

"Can I guess at the colour of the skin on your legs?"

She blushed, causing her face to go the exact colour that Shikamaru would have guessed. He chose not to press the matter.

Her foot was tapping lightly on the ground- _impatience._

As someone who spent a fair bit of time deciphering codes, he knew for a fact that one could tell a lot from a person's writing. For example, when the script fluctuates in size, the person can be quite unbalanced emotionally. Small writing meant they were reserved and large writing indicated the opposite and so on. The same could be said for one's demeanour.

"Temari. Talk to me." He lay down the final piece and stood to go to the kettle and boil some water. Tea could work wonders in situations like this.

"About what?"

"Why you're acting tense around me."

She bowed her head very slightly- _shame_ \- and lifted her eyes slightly to meet his. He gazed into her stunning teal orbs for a brief moment before speaking again.

"You have nothing to worry about when it comes to me. I hope you know that."

She glanced back and her hands fidgeted on her lap- _embarrassment._

"Shikamaru, I don't think that you'd understand if I were to try tell you."

"Why not just try then? The worst that can happen is that I don't get you, and we move on."

"I'd rather not," she sighed.

"Screw this." He stopped brewing the tea and started packing away the Shōgi board.

"Shikamaru?" Temari said in a worried tone, looking up at him with the slightest bit of fear reflected in her eyes.

"Come with me,"

She didn't question him, but her head craned back a little bit- _apprehensive_.

He hadn't meant to sound as harsh as he did, but it didn't matter. He wasn't mad at her, wether or not she knew that was entirely up to how well she knew him.

He led her to the room and told her to get changed as he waited outside.

"Something comfortable that you can move around in."

She came out in a simple tank top and Bermuda shorts, and was in the process of slipping a jumper over her head.

Wordlessly, he began to walk down the stairs and towards the front door. She knew to follow him.

He led her out the door and through a path that connected the Yamanaka and Nara compounds to each other. After a half hour of walking in silence, they were deep within the Nara clan forest. Temari didn't know this, but she didn't need to.

When they were in deep enough and had reached a large clearing, he turned to her.

"Taijutsu only," he got into a stance and watched as her eyes went from confused, to shocked to proud.

"Promise you won't go easy on me?"

"Promise."

He knew she needed this almost as much as she needed closure on the predicament that she was currently in. She matched his stance, and they began.

She was strong stronger than him, without a doubt. She was swift, and she calculated her moves to perfection. He watched the muscles in her arms and legs flex and tense in preparation for each of her moves, but he held true to his word and didn't hold back on his counter-attacks.

"Fight _better_ ," Temari insisted, aiming an elbow at his temple. She was sounding more and more like herself as their sparring progressed.

He ducked to avoid her hit, but he landed right in her trap, cursing for letting himself get distracted.

As he lowered himself to avoid her elbow, her hand caught his shoulder and pushed him into a crouching position as her other hand reached for his wrist to twist it it behind his back, efficiently trapping him.

"Shit," he hissed. She held him in that position for three seconds before releasing him, a smile plastered to her face.

"You're not as strong without the shadow," she chuckled.

"Yes, but my shadow will always be here, my strength won't. Strength is like a variable, and chakra-based abilities are a constant." He shrugged, seating himself down on the lush green grass, praising his past self for finding a clearing that gave a great view of the clouds.

"Well phrased," Temari said, moving to be beside him. "I never thought of looking at the wind as a constant. It seems too changeable and unpredictable to be so."

"Just because it isn't easy to trap down, that doesn't make it inconsistent. On the contrary-you know it will always be impossible to completely manipulate."

She smiled at that and lay her back down, giving a satisfied sigh as she rested her back on the flat surface of the ground.

"I like that way of thinking."

"Thank you, I made it myself."

Temari snorted and nudged him with her elbow. "Very funny."

He lay his back down so that they were lying down shoulder-to-shoulder.

"I never understood how you could stare at clouds for so long, but now I think I do." She murmured, getting his attention. "It's soothing. The clouds are new and strange, but they're also familiar, comforting in a way."

"I'm glad you see my reasoning behind this hobby."

Her smile stayed in place but her eyes seem to fade as a silence settled in around them.

He knew she shouldn't be left alone with her thoughts, but he also understood that the first thing there was to do was to let herself come to terms with what had happened.

It hadn't even been a week, and she was already close to how she had been before, it just proved to him how strong she could really be, in more than just physical ability.

He remained quiet for a little while longer until she closed her eyes and shuddered, taking a deep breath.

"Tem," he said steadily, placing a hand on her elbow. Not holding it, not restraining her. Just a gentle tap.

Her eyes shot open and she blinked a few times before setting her jaw and shaking her head.

"Thanks." She frowned. "Did you just call me _Tem?_ "

He shrugged. "Your name is too long. It would be troublesome to have to say the whole thing all the time."

He glanced an apologetic look in her direction. "Unless you'd rather I don't..."

She laughed-a sound that was like a sweet symphony to his ears after the past few days of bleakness- and shook her head.

"It's fine, just don't expect me to start calling you Shika any time soon."

"Any time _soon_?" He repeated, teasing. "Does that mean that at some point you might?"

She surprised him by not chuckling or nudging him. She glared at him and turned away.

"Shut up." She grumbled. "I didn't mean it in that way, Baka."

He was taken aback by her reaction, but he knew better than to push the matter, so he just turned back to the clouds to gaze at them for a while longer.

He savoured the peace and tranquility, knowing full well that days like these could be hard to come by.

* * *

 **A/N: Hiiii!**

 **Okiedokie, imma get to some of the *positive* reviews! Also, I recently just cut ALL my hair off, and it is the BEST feeling EVER! So if any of you guys are bored and wondering what to do: Get a haircut!**

 **Okay, reviews! I've actually gotten so many, and I've only posted two chapter so far (maybe my standards are just low T T) but either way, thank you all sososo much, if it weren't for the reviews I wouldn't have continued this story.**

 **ayingChan~Hiiiii! I always get so excited when I see that you've reviewed my stuff because your reviews are so genuine and non-biased. I tried my best not to make Temari seem too hysterical, but she's always struck me as brash, and a little bit defensive so I tried to fir that into this scenario I guess. As to Shikamaru being frustrated well: We all love it ;). I'm glad you like Ino, she's probably one of my fave characters (outside of Shikatema) cos she just reminds me of so many of my friends!**

 **Whattadragg~ I LOVE YOU MY FRIEND THANKYOOOO 3 we should seriously just form a team to fight all them assholes who hate on women/Ino or who use the word retard as an insult-Join meh! Thankyou so much for the review though-your writing is a huge inspiration to me!**

 **PvtBook~ Yeah boi! Pettiness is the best way to deal with yo problems;)**

 **And Finally, to the lovely guest (not sarcastic this time) who wrote this:**

 **"You're my hero for this greatness!"**

 **~I read this review over and over (and over) so many times and it still has the same affect. There's really something to be said for simple compliments cos this review, though it isn't a massive essay, just spoke volumes and SERIOUSLY helped heal my wounded ego from the last chapter's guest comment. Thank you so much for your review!**

 **Okaaay~**

 **Enough of that, please let me know what you think! I got nine reviews on the last two chapters, I'll do my best to get to different people each time, if different people review, obvs.**

 **Please follow/fave/review! You know you want toooooooo~**

 **(why am I like this ugh)**

 **~Leeeeeeeee 😁**


	4. Chapter 4-Clearing

Sure enough, the good weather didn't last.

The next day, the sky and land were at war, and Shikamaru found himself caught in the middle of it, having gone out to get some shopping done.

He walked back to Ino's house with his arms loaded, three bags at each wrist with uncomfortable plastic digging into him. The entire trip, he was praying to whatever gods that may or may not have existed that the bags didn't tear and spill the contents all over the pavement.

As he eventually made it to Ino's house, he was surprised as the door opened before he even got near it.

Ino stepped out with an umbrella and stood on the porch with a smile.

"You're back at last!" She beamed. "I'm going out to meet Sai. Take good care of Temari."

"Temari doesn't need someone to take care of her. She's a strong independent woman." Called a voice from inside the house.

Temari's voice.

Ino's smile remained forcefully plastered to her face as she gave Shikamaru a begging look.

"I'll stay here, go have fun."

She gave him a hug and was about to leave but he caught her shoulder.

"Remember to use a condom," he murmured under his breath.

She scowled and hit him over the head with the handle of her umbrella.

"I'll be home in a few hours. Don't get the wrong idea."

He chuckled as he walked into the house, setting down the bags of groceries on the kitchen table and putting them away in their respective shelves and cupboards. He realised halfway through the second bag that there was a second pair of hands helping him.

"Temari, you don't have to-"

"I _want_ to help. I know how to put shopping away." She snapped.

He saw that her hair was down and she'd gotten dressed in a tank top and long shorts. She was wearing fishnet armour underneath and he hid a smirk.

"You want to spar again later, after the rain stops?"

"If that's alright with you. Yes." She said hesitantly.

He held back a sigh, if he'd suggested a spar a few months ago, she'd have said something along the lines of _"fuck yeah,"_. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate her consideration, it just wasn't very 'Temari'-like.

It dawned on him that even though he spent much of his time complaining about her being troublesome, he missed that part of her.

He wanted her to tease him and laugh at him for being uncomfortable around her.

She used to be harsh, but she would never cross the line with her humour.

She never even came close.

"Do you believe in love?" He asked suddenly.

She snorted and almost dropped the stick of celery she'd been holding.

"Love? No. Lust? Maybe. Sexual tension and conveniently timed selection boxes? Yes."

He laughed. "Cynical."

"Realistic. Why do you ask?"

"Some of the guys were taking about it the last time at the bar."Shikamaru shrugged, remembering the night a few weeks ago and how his thoughts had constantly drifted away from the conversation and towards a certain somebody.

"Do you fully grown men not have anything better to be discussing?"

"Well, with Naruto's wedding coming up, not really."

She frowned, "Is the wedding not scheduled for another year?"

"Yeah, but it's still a pretty big deal."

She considered his words for a moment and shrugged, still holding the celery.

"Fridge" Shikamaru advised. "Bottom shelf."

She pointed the celery stick knowingly in his direction with a nod of thanks and then put the vegetable away where it belonged.

"How about you?" She asked.

"Me?" Shikamaru's mind was still set on the celery. "What about me?"

"Do you believe in love?"

He thought about it for a bit and decided to answer truthfully.

"Yeah. I think I do."

"You _think_?"

"Yeah. I love my mother, I love all my friends. I loved my dad and Asuma. I love Konoha." He smirked at her. "There _is_ more than just romantic love, you know."

"That's true I suppose." She was looking intently at him now. "I guess I love my brothers and Suna then."

"There you go." He said, trying hard not to sound as disappointed as he felt.

"Do you believe in _romantic_ love though?"

The question took him by surprise.

"Recently, yes." He admitted.

"That's nice."

After all the shopping was put away, Temari went to the sitting room as Shikamaru took a warm shower.

He brewed some tea for both of them, hoping to talk with her, but as he made it to the room where she was, he found her fast asleep on the sofa.

He set the cup down and sat himself down beside her, watching her face as she slept. She looked so peaceful, and he wondered wether she was dreaming or not.

The rain wasn't letting up, and he saw no need to wake her, so he just continued to watch her.

The grey lighting made the room look dull, and she was no exception, but there was a certain delicacy to her features that he could never quite sum up in simple words that became amplified by the fact that even in dull light, she seemed like so much more than just... A person.

He hated the idea of sounding horridly cliché, but he saw no reason to lie to himself. She was quite simply more important to him than others and it just pissed him off to know that she'd gone through something that she may never fully recover from, emotionally.

"Temari," he whispered.

"You're going to have to forgive me."

When she said nothing, he sat closer to her and sighed, her eyelids didn't twitch and her breathing was regular.

"I'm going to Suna. I'm killing those bastards."

That was the moment her eyes shot open.

"No." She growled. "You're not."

"T-Tema-"

"You're not killing them. You're an outsider. You have nothing to do with what happened."

"I am not an outsider! I'm your friend, and I'm getting revenge."

The words silenced her, but her gaze remained firm. She sat cross-legged on the sofa, facing him directly as she picked her words carefully.

"Shikamaru." She said steadily. "Konoha can't get involved in a Suna affair such as this one. I appreciate your concern, but it isn't necessary. The spars and support are more than enough."

She stood and walked to the kitchen.

"Do you want some water?"

"I made tea."

"I'll take that as a no."

Once she disappeared behind the door, Shikamaru let out a sigh. He still wanted to kill them. Like, _really_ wanted to, but it would be disrespectful to completely disregard Temari's wishes, it was her battle after all. He stood and patted out the creases in his trousers.

He strolled through the kitchen and saw Temari leaning against the counter having just filled her glass with cold water.

She raised it to him as a toast and wordlessly, he nodded.

 _To you_ , he thought, _to revenge_.

When she finished the drink, she rinsed the glass in the sink and turned back to him almost instantly.

She did that a lot recently, he'd noticed. Never fully turning her back to him, and if she did, turning back quickly.

He didn't know if she'd always done that, or if he'd only just realised it in the passing days. It could have been something she'd learnt in training, but it could also have just been a more noticeable sign that her trust issues had developed some more.

"Spar?" He suggested eventually.

"You hate the rain."

"You love it."

"Enjoy it." She corrected with a smirk.

"Would you like to spar in the weather that you enjoy, Temari?"

Her smile intensified, turning in to one that made him feel both threatened and relieved. She was becoming more and more like herself.

"Of course."

Shikamaru didn't bring them as far into the forest this time, but he found a fairly level clearing where the nearby trees offered enough coverage for the ground not to be completely saturated.

They agreed on best of three, but when Temari won the first two they changed it to best of five.

"Shikamaru, _please_ fight better." She said in an almost begging voice. If he didn't know any better, he'd have called her out on it.

The truth was, taijutsu simply didn't fare well with him. He could be fast, he could be strong, and he could be meticulous, but combining all those elements together just never seemed to have a high success rate with him. It wasn't a very reliable form of battle, too much relied on opportunity.

It also didn't help that she was incredible at it.

He dove low to the ground and aimed a flat blow to the back of her knees, making them buckle and sending her down to her elbows and forearms. She gasped, but he knew she'd be up in no time. She wanted him to fight better, right?

Still crouched down, he reached over to her wrist that was furthest from him and pulled it across her body in one go, flipping her to the ground and knocking the wind out of her. It was just a combination of classic, basic moves, but he'd won. To prove it, he pinned her hands down over her head with one hand and rested his knee (gently, obviously) on her abdomen. Just exerting enough pressure to keep her from moving without causing any harm.

When he released her, Shikamaru half expected her to be angry at him, but when he built up the courage to look at her face, he saw that she was absolutely beaming.

"You did well." She panted. "Really well."

He could hear the pride in her voice, and it definitely brought his ego up a couple of pegs.

"I know."

"Don't get cocky."

He'd have continued staring at her- panting and smiling at him- but a rustling in the leaves distracted them both, and Temari was on her feet on a heartbeat, reaching for some kind of weapon, the closest of which happened to be Shikamaru's collar, which she gripped with her iron first.

He was still crouched on the ground, and he glanced back at her, tempted to tell her that he knew exactly what the noise was, but he remained quiet.

A doe stepped out on long slender legs and considered them with her careful eyes. Temari's grip instantly relaxed and she lowered herself back down to the ground, slowly, so as not to startle the deer.

"We're in your clan forest. I hadn't realised," she breathed.

One of the doe's ears curled in the direction of Temari's voice, as though trying to catch it better. Shikamaru understood, it was a nice voice to hear.

"She's beautiful," Temari sighed.

Shikamaru made a soft clicking noise with his tongue and the doe's second ear turned, showing him that he had her undivided attention.

He made the noise again and hesitantly, she took a step closer to them.

"Relax," he smiled to Temari, who was as tense as steel by his side.

The doe's head was slightly bowed in curiosity as her head turned slightly so that she could get a good look at the person who was calling her. He raised his hand, easily and deliberately, doing everything in his power not to startle her.

The doe had large eyes, and her coat was free of speckles, so she couldn't have been young, but she was still cautious around him, so they probably hadn't met much before.

He clicked again and she took a few more steps, reaching his outstretched hand and giving it a tentative nudge. An invitation.

He turned his hand to pat her muzzle, and in seconds, her tension was gone.

Temari watched in awe, and he saw her staring, so he reached for her hand and held it up for the deer to inspect. Temari seemed a bit shocked that he'd just taken her hand, but neither of them said anything about it, so Shikamaru figured it was alright.

The deer nuzzled her hand too, and Temari tentatively brought her hand to the deer's head, petting her with a dopey smile on her face that would have made Shikamaru laugh had he not been so mesmerised by the scene in front of him.

He'd always had an affinity for deer, it was natural given his lineage, but seeing Temari being in harmony with one of the herd just made him ache with joy. And sorrow-knowing that she'd never live with him, realistically speaking.

"Do you name them?" Temari asked quietly after a while. The doe had seated herself and was enjoying an ear-scratching from the blonde Sunan.

"Not really. When I was a kid, I used to." He chuckled at the memory and shook his head. "There are hundreds of them, we wouldn't be able to keep up with them, but I have named my favourites."

Temari nodded, not taking her eyes away from the deer as it rested its head in her lap with a contented huff.

"You can name her. If you'd like."

She looked at him, surprised, but shook her head. "Thanks, but I suck at naming things."

He didn't push her, but he made a mental note to bring it up at a later point. He saw that she'd hesitated.

"Shikamaru," Temari said suddenly.

The tone of her voice drew him instantly and he looked into her eyes, bracing himself for anything, because he was clueless as to what she could possibly say that required that tone.

Temari's tone was never apologetic, but at that moment, the very lilt of her vowels screamed "I'm sorry," and he realised he was gripping the grass by his side.

He wasn't prepared enough for what she said.

"I'm going back tonight."

He reached for her hand impulsively and stared at her, disbelief scrawled all over his face.

"B-but yo-"

"Save your breath. I need to go back. I've been gone too long."

"Tema-"

"Shikamaru?" That voice _wasn't_ Temari's. "Shikamaru, is that you?"

He groaned, and Temari gave him a curious look.

"Yeah," he called. "That's me. What are you doing out in the rain, mom?"

Yoshino walked into the clearing with a basket tucked under her elbow.

"Well well, who might _this_ beauty be?"

Shikamaru dropped Temari's hand a second late, and Yoshino's smile only grew.

"Would you both like to come to the house for some tea?" She offered, her voice polite as ever, but Shikamaru caught an evil glint on her eye.

"Please," Temari said, causing his inner self to weep. "we'd love to."

And so the three went to Shikamaru's childhood home, he was only faintly aware that his fingers became laced between Temari's at some point during the short trek, but neither of them pointed it out, and neither of them knew who started it either.

* * *

 **A/N: Messy, sorry, I'm just a mess rn.**

 **Please review, reviews are really appreciated,(and sometimes needed) so please let me know what you think.**

 **Thank you for all the support, I'm trying to make this okay**

 **-Lee**


	5. Chapter 5-Wings

"So," Yoshino set down the teapot and cups before seating herself opposite the pair. "It's obvious you're Temari."

The blonde seemed slightly taken aback by Yoshino's proclamation and Shikamaru sighed.

"Yes mom, this is Temari. My _colleague_."

The dark haired woman let out a low chuckle at his choice of word.

"Temari, dear," she said, turning to the blonde with a smile in place. "I have heard a lot about you. Not just from this one, I might add," she waved dismissively over in Shikamaru's direction and he raised an eyebrow.

"My husband had a lot of respect for you," Yoshino explained. "He said that you were an extremely valuable asset to Suna, and that your kind of strength is what Konoha needed. Of course this was before the war, so I think that strength isn't as necessary, but still. You stood out to him."

Temari was clearly startled and at loss for words, so she simply nodded with her mouth hanging slightly open.

Something rang in the kitchen and Yoshino got up to see what it was.

"You can walk around you know," Shikamaru said when he noticed Temari was fidgeting. Relieved, she stood up and paced the room, sweeping her fingers across the brushed-wood mantelpiece and pausing at the small framed photograph of Shikaku.

There were small blue flowers placed before it, and Shikamaru saw that they were fresh. They always were.

Temari bowed subtly to the picture and continued her journey around the perimeter of the room before eventually saying "Veronica chamaedrys".

He looked at her blankly.

"The flowers. That's what they are." She pointed to the ones that were in front of his father's picture. "Some people think of them as weeds, but I think they're beautiful."

And she was right.

She walked to the bookshelf and trailed her fingers across the spines of leather-bound encyclopedias and lexicons, smiling at small framed photographs of Shikamaru as a kid with Ino and Chōji, Asuma looming behind them.

There was also a picture of his parents.

Yoshino wasn't a big fan of pictures, but there was the one photograph that she was fond of. It was of herself and Shikaku a month or so before their wedding day, sitting in a clearing of the forest and just laughing at each other as the wind coursed through the trees around them and a curious buck stood a little off to the side.

A few times as a child, Shikamaru had asked them what it was that they'd been laughing at, but they had never been quite able to remember. He would see them exchange a secret smile, and feel left out of the joke. It was only now that he realised that it was okay, that they had a life without him, before him, and that was okay.

A lump formed in Shikamaru's throat. He'd forgotten just how much his mother had loved her husband. Just how much she'd lost during the war.

"He was a great man, your father."

Temari was beside him again, and he nodded. She'd said it to him before, right after the war, but somehow it meant more to him now that she'd said it a second time.

Yoshino hurried back into the sitting room and huffed, giving out about the faulty oven timer.

"Where were we?" She sighed, reaching for the teapot to pour a drink for them all.

Temari brushed her fringe out of her eyes and reached for a cup, whispering a "thankyou" as she went.

"Oh, yes. I was just in the middle of praising you dear." Yoshino exclaimed. "Now, he never mentioned you were a beauty as well! I'd say you're popular with the boys back in Suna..."

Temari dropped her cup and it broke clean in two as it made contact with the ground.

"S-sorry!" She gasped, getting down on her knees to pick up the pieces and soak up the spillage. Something in the angle of her hands as she picked up the shards alarmed Shikamaru; she was stiff, like she'd been a few days ago.

"Not to worry, Temari." Yoshino said hesitantly, looking at Shikamaru with a quizzical look which he ignored. She stood up to get some towels and motioned for her son to follow.

"Well?" She asked the moment they'd turned into the doorway. "Did she have a bad break-up recently or something?"

"No, that's not it mom, just leave it."

"Shikamaru. You will tell me _exactly_ what's up with your girlfriend-"

"We're not dating, mom."

"Not yet you're not, but I want cute grandkids and you'll darn well give them to me." She cocked her head towards the sitting room door and smiled slyly. "I've always like green eyes," she added.

Shikamaru sighed and left the kitchen with a towel slung over his shoulder. He knelt down beside Temari and rested a hand on her shoulder.

"It's alright, Tem. It was a cheap cup from a bad set."

She shook her head and apologised again, scrubbing at the floor with the towel.

"Temari."

She looked up at him and stopped rubbing the floor.

' _I'm like my mom_.' Shikamaru thought. _'I've always liked green eyes.'_

"It's okay." He sighed. "Relax, nothing bad happened."

She looked at loss for words again and he pulled her in for a hug, stroking her hair as she shivered.

"It's okay. Don't worry, you're fine."

She nodded in his arms but didn't bring her arms around him, they rested awkwardly at her side, limp.

He felt his mother's presence in the doorway and he pulled away from Temari, gently.

"Okay?" He asked.

She nodded, looking a little dazed, and he stood up, offering a hand to help her up. She accepted.

Yoshino waited a few seconds before walking in and sitting back down.

"I hated those cups," she admitted in an undertone with a small smile to Temari, who smiled in reply.

"Dear, when's the last time you had a haircut? Your fringe is in your eyes."

"I don't know, I don't keep track of those things to be honest. The last time it got in the way I suppose," Temari shrugged, twirling a strand of hair subconsciously through her fingers.

Yoshino went into the kitchen and came back dragging a dining-room chair in her wake and with a mahogany box tucked under her arm.

"Sit," she ordered as she set the chair in the middle of the sitting room.

"Um, I-"

"Sit," Yoshino repeated. Even Sabaku no Temari knew not to mess with that tone.

"I'll go fill the troughs," Shikamaru suggested as his mother extracted a pair of scissors from the box. Yoshino gave him a satisfied nod.

Shikamaru left to give the two women some privacy. He silently dreaded what they'd speak about, but he knew his mother never meant any harm by what she said to others, and he was certain that she'd be nice to the woman whom she wanted as a daughter-in-law.

He refilled the deer's water troughs and checked the pH of the rain water that had come in using some indicator. Acid rain was becoming a bit more of an issue recently what with pollution levels rising in Konoha, and he didn't want to harm any of the deer along with the environment.

After doing that, he knew that the pair inside wouldn't be finished yet, so he made his way to the porch and pulled out a cigarette. He let the smoke build in his lungs and held it.

Just kept it.

And exhaled slowly.

Let it out.

The smoke would reach out ahead of him, swirling through the trees and curling out in the air around him, spreading like wings not attached to a body, or fingers that would never grasp onto anything.

"Shikamaru?"

He turned and saw his mother walking towards him, pulling on a soft knitted cardigan and leaning lightly over the railing.

"There's a lovely girl in there, and you need to make sure that whatever problem it is she's going through at the moment is rectified."

Shikamaru said nothing.

"She has a wonderful smile." Yoshino added. "It would be a shame to see it disappear."

She left and Shikamaru shuddered.

His mother had good taste in women, and that was just weird.

He pushed off the porch railing and headed inside.

Temari was seated on the couch, her hair cut. It was a fair bit shorter than before, and he could see her eyes better now that her fringe wasn't in the way. The tips barely brushed her shoulders.

"It won't fit into four pigtails," she chuckled. "I'm going to have to downsize to two."

He was a bit surprised, but he had no doubt that it would suit her.

"Troublesome," he murmured, lacking anything better to say. He saw his mother give him a small (almost prideful) smile as she left them alone.

"I'm going to close some windows," she said as she closed the door. A lame excuse, but neither of them said anything.

"Your mother is a wonderful person, Shikamaru." Temari said with a smirk.

"She really is," Shikamaru realised out loud. "I didn't appreciate her much as a kid because of all the nagging, but she really loved me. And my dad." He turned towards the picture on the mantle piece and smiled.

He'd been more than just a great man. He'd been a great father and husband as well.

"You have a lovely family."

He detected some poorly concealed longing in her voice and looked to her.

She never had what he had the luxury of having.

And now he had a weird longing to invite her into his family, even though that wasn't something that could happen.

"I do."

Frantic knocking on the door stemmed any thoughts he was having and he jumped slightly at the loud banging. It was dark out, who was making all that racket?

He heard his mother swoop to the front door and open it.

"Oh, hel-"

"SHIKAMARU AND TEMARI ARE MISSING HAVE YOU SEEN THEM? I'M SO WORRIED, THEY WEREN'T AT MY HOUSE OR-"

"Ino, they're right here. Why would they be at your house?"

"Hi Ino!" Temari called, snickering.

Ino barged into the sitting room and gasped.

"Temari, your hair!"

Temari frowned. "How did you even notice?"

"A girl _always_ notices when one of her best friends gets a haircut." Ino pouted.

A sudden silence settled around them as Temari stared at Ino disbelievingly.

"What?" Ino asked, looking at Shikamaru, who smiled at her but said nothing.

Temari shook her head.

"Aanyways," Ino continued, still looking at Temari curiously. "Sai and I are hoping to have the house for ourselves just for a little while, and Kiba gave us two coupons for a restaurant in town, but Sai doesn't want to go so I'm sending the pair of you."

"Er-" Temari began to protest, but Ino cut her off by raising a perfectly manicured hand.

"It expires tomorrow. I don't care wether or not you want to go, it's an order, to repay me for being the most fabulous individual you've ever met."

Temari couldn't hide a laugh.

"Alright," she chuckled. "If Shikamaru's okay with it, I'll go."

"Definitely."

"Wonderful," Ino beamed, holding out an envelope to them. "Have fun kids!"

Neither of them pointed out that Ino was the youngest among them.

Ino skipped off to the kitchen to talk with Yoshino as Temari and Shikamaru laughed nervously.

"She called me one of her best friends," Temari said, suddenly serious. "Did she mean that?"

"Temari," Shikamaru sighed. "Ino is many things, but she is not a liar. If she calls you one of her best friends, she means it."

Temari failed miserably at hiding a small smile that was making its way onto her face.

"For real?"

"Yeah. For real."

Her smile was obvious now, and Shikamaru felt his heart stammer.

"Thanks." Temari mumbled, pulling him in for a sudden hug.

He held her back and ignored the muffled squeals that came from the direction of the kitchen doorway.

"Don't go back. Not tonight." He pleaded silently.

"Not tonight." She confirmed, nodding.

The pair went back to Ino's place along with the excited blonde who pulled Shikamaru aside when they stepped in the doorway.

"Go ahead and get changed, Temari." She said. "I think I got something dressy the other day."

Temari hesitantly made her way upstairs and Ino turned to Shikamaru and grabbed his face firmly between both her hands, staring at him intensely.

"Shikamaru." She said steadily. "This is her first time going to a public place since... It happened. You will do everything in your power to make sure it goes smoothly. Have I made myself clear?"

She pressed her hands so strongly against his cheeks that Shikamaru was certain he must have looked like a puffer fish, but he nodded nonetheless, figuring she was getting some entertainment from seeing his features squished and contorted.

"Good. When she comes down those stairs, you'll tell her she looks nice, you will walk side-by-side down the street and not brush off her shoulder on purpose. I've seen you do that before, don't give me that look." She raised her hand as he began to speak. "I'm not finished. If any douchebag dares to catcall or wolfewhistle her, you punch him hard three times: Once for her, once for you and once for me. Clear?"

He nodded again.

"When you get to-"

"Ino. Stop." Shikamaru took her hands away from his face and laughed.

"I'm not going to mess this up, okay?" He poked her nose and she flinched. "Stop acting like my mom."

She began to protest but he cut her off.

"This isn't a date. Much as I'd like it to be." He added as a side thought, not bothering to hold back in front of Ino, he knew she'd see straight through him.

"Actually," he added, turning away from her. "Was this your own idea?"

"Of course, where do you think I went this afternoon?"

He smiled. "Why didn't you go with her yourself?"

"Because she needs it. And you need it more than I do." She pulled on his shoulder and spun him around again, looking at him with her fierce blue eyes. "I think this is your chance to settle a few things as well."

He didn't know what she was talking about, but he hugged her as thanks.

"You're a good friend." He admitted.

"I know. I'm fabulous." She pulled away and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, like she used to when they were kids. "Have fun, Shikamaru. You should get dressed though, you stink of sweat."

He began to leave, but she caught his arm once more and brought her mouth to his ear and breathed: "If you fuck this up for her, I swear to god I will kill you."

He almost laughed, but he knew that she wasn't joking at all.

"Yeah." He murmured. "Do."

She nodded, satisfied, and let him go.

He showered at lightning speed and pulled on a fresh set of clothes before going down the stairs. He found Ino and Temari seated in the sitting room playing snap at the coffee table. They finished up the game with Ino as a victor and Temari stood up to leave.

"You look good," Shikamaru said casually. It wasn't a lie, but he probably wouldn't have said it if Ino hadn't shot him a threatening look.

Temari frowned. "Thanks."

She wore a black dress with a round neck and three-quarter length sleeves, and though a lot of it was made from a lacy fabric, it was a modest dress that ended just above her knees. Her hair was in two pigtails, and it made her seem more mature.

"You don't look half bad yourself," she added as an afterthought.

The doorbell rang and Ino answered, giving Sai hug as he stood on the porch, smiling blankly at Shikamaru and Temari.

"Good evening."

"Hello Sai, it's been a while." Temari smiled.

"You too, Temari."

The pair left and Shikamaru kept a minimum of six inches between their shoulders as they walked, convinced that Ino had found a way of tracking his every move in spite of not being right beside them.

"This is the place," Shikamaru said as he stopped outside the restaurant that Ino had decided to send them to.

He'd never been there before, but he knew of it. He trusted Ino's judgement when it came to these sorts of things.

He held the door open for her and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Still so chivalrous?"

"Absolutely."

She smirked but didn't object as she walked into the restaurant.

They were seated by a well-dressed waiter and their menus were brought to them almost instantly.

"So what did my mother say to you?" Shikamaru asked, trying to form some kind of conversation between them.

"She said that I don't take good enough care of my hair. That I should condition and get regular trims." Temari shrugged. "She also gave out to me for using a kunai to cut it..."

"Why did you cut it with a kunai?"

"I was on a month-long mission, I didn't have time for salon trips."

"Fair enough."

He watched her as her eyes skimmed over the menu, her lips moving wordlessly as she muttered the words she was reading under her breath.

They ordered and fell silent. Shikamaru noticed how she was far more alert than she had been any other time they'd gone out for food. They went out for lunch together quite regularly when she was in Konoha for a diplomatic mission, but now she was more attentive towards her surroundings than their conversation.

"Tem," he murmured, gently tapping her wrist with his fingertips. She flinched slightly, but turned to him. "Relax,"

She exhaled deeply and nodded. "Sorry. I'm trying."

"It's alright, I know. Don't worry about it."

The meal was pleasant, and Shikamaru could practically sense Temari loosening up by the end of it. Her movements became more relaxed, and her smiles seemed more natural. Less forced.

They walked back through the deserted streets, and Shikamaru could feel the biting cold. He offered Temari his jacket, like the gentleman he was, and was shocked when she accepted.

He realised a moment late that she wasn't accepting it because she was cold, but rather that an extra layer of clothing made her feel a bit more secure.

She stepped closer to him, and when he sidestepped to keep the distance, her arm reached out and linked in to his.

"Stop moving away."

He felt his face heat up as he realised that she felt safe with him. That there was some kind of security that she associated with him.

He removed his arm from her grasp and could practically feel the disappointment radiating off her, but he swiftly moved so that his arm was resting across her shoulders.

"Tell me if you want me to let go," he said quietly.

She nodded, almost shyly, and said nothing when he turned his head slightly and placed a small kiss on her temple. It could almost have been considered platonic, or even friendly. Almost.

"I won't let anything happen." He added, more to himself than to her.

"I trust you," she said. "But I can fight them on my own."

He would have argued that point, but he wasn't so insensitive towards the whole issue.

"That's why I need to go back."

He groaned as she said that, and she stopped walking as she turned to face him.

"Shikamaru. I'm going to kill those mother fuckers."

Something in the dangerous edge to her tone made him reach out and hug her.

 _Temari. At last._

"Yes. You are, but I'm not letting you do it alone."

She opened her mouth as though she was about to protest, but she quickly turned it into a smirk.

"Alright." She conceded. "Lets do it together."

They walked back the rest of the way in silence, but Shikamaru caught her grinning a few times as though someone had wiped away the darkness that had been burdening her the past few days.

That night, for the first time in a long time, he dreamt.

* * *

 **A/N: I'll be editing it better tomorrow and going through reviews, so if you wanna see if I reply to yours, be sure to check this chapter out, cos I need to sleep!**

 ****EDIT****

 **Okie: The reviewssss:**

 **Reilynn9~Thank you for your review! I'm really glad you ended up liking this story, I'm trying not to let it be too dark... Also, writing Ino has been pretty hard since she's the total opposite of me in terms of personality, so thank you for the praise!**

 **DarkSkyAngel1337~ Hello! I will of course continue with this story, thank you so much for the review, bean XD**

 **ParrishGranger~ Hihi, Danke Schön! I always appreciate a mini-slay in my reviews ;)**

 **Relifluous~Lol yeah, the guys are just THAT secure with their masculinity these days~**

 **Thank you all so much, again for the support! I'll get onto more next chapter!**

 **Please follow /fave/review!**

 **~Lee**


	6. Chapter 6-Flux

"Rise and shine, buttercup!"

"Ino. I'm not a buttercup," Shikamaru grumbled, rolling onto his side and pulling his pillow over his head, only to have it yanked out of his grasp by the blonde.

"So how was the not-date?"

"The not-date went fine, Ino. Thankyou."

"Okay, go cook her some breakfast before she wakes up. I have bread, milk, eggs and sugar laid out, make her some Pain Perdu or something." Ino was standing over him wearing a robe and holding a rolled up newspaper.

"Sure. Do you want some?" He rolled into a sitting position and rubbed his eyes. It was only nine AM, _what a drag_.

"No, Sai made me breakfast in bed this morning it was so sw-" she stopped talking when she saw Shikamaru's smirk.

"What?" She asked.

"I didn't know he stayed over the night. I hope you kept it PG in there..."

Ino's usually pale face went bright red instantly and she flung the newspaper at his face.

"Don't go thinking weird things, Baka!" She cried, snatching the newspaper up again just to hit him with it once more.

"Shit-Ino!" He winced, "That was a joke. God, poor Sai, I hope you weren't that aggressive last ni-"

"SHUT UP!"

He chuckled and stood up, padding over to the kitchen to make some breakfast for Temari.

He was no chef extraordinaire, but the result wasn't half bad, and it smelled delicious. Just as he was plating out the food to bring it up to Temari, the kitchen door cracked open and the tired-looking Suna nin shuffled in.

"I smell food that I would very much like to eat." She murmured, flopping down into a chair.

"Good morning to you too Temari, you look lively as ever."

She had the decency to smirk at him as he set the plate down in front of her.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

They ate in a comfortable silence, and he occasionally glanced up at her for no reason other than to reassure himself that she was very much alive and well, and seated in front of him eating caramelised bread with droopy, tired eyes.

She looked up at one point after his eyes had been fixed on her for an unusual amount of time and his reflexes screamed at him to look away as though he'd done something wrong, but he didn't. There was no reason.

"You okay?" She asked.

"Yes. Are you?"

"Absolutely."

After they explained that they were leaving to Ino, they both packed up to go to Shikamaru's apartment so that he could get a few of his own belongings, promising Ino that they'd see her at the barbeque restaurant for lunch by midday.

"Shikamaru?" Temari asked as they walked towards his place.

"Hn?"

"I'll need your help when we get back to Suna, I don't know Ino as well as I'd like, and I want to get her something nice as thanks for everything. I left her money in the room to cover all the expenses for my stay, but I still want to get her some kind of gift for the next time I come to Konoha."

"I'll help you, don't worry."

"Thanks." Temari smiled. "Really, thank you."

Once they arrived at his apartment, Temari decided to stay outside, but Shikamaru insisted she come in.

"We're not going out to lunch for another hour, you may as well come in for a drink at least. It's not like you've never been here before."

She gave in and he offered her a choice between peppermint tea or rosehip tea.

"Oh God, peppermint, obviously! Please," she added. "You drink rosehip tea?"

"No. Ino does though."

Temari nodded slowly and followed him into the kitchen as he switched on the kettle to boil the water.

He saw her take a seat at the table and he went to join her as the kettle began to heat up.

"How are you?" He asked, realising he hadn't asked her that all day.

"I'm fine. You?"

"Wonderful."

She smiled and reached out her hand, touching the side of his face. He wondered, briefly, why she was doing that, but she spoke up before he could ask.

"It's been a while since you've shaved."

He covered her hand with his, and felt some of his own skin as well. There was stubble where he touched and he shrugged.

"About a week."

He removed his hand, but hers lingered over his cheek for a moment before settling down to the table.

"I don't know what I'm going to tell my brothers." She admitted, looking mildly guilty as though she'd done something wrong.

"They'll understand why you left." Shikamaru offered.

"But how I could have let that happen..."

"Temari. They grew up with you, and they know how strong you are. They aren't going to think any less of you for what happened, and you know that."

She looked at him for a moment before nodding slowly.

"You're right." She conceded.

As Shikamaru made the tea, he could feel Temari's eyes on his back, watching him carefully. He set the mug down in front of her and met her gaze steadily with his own.

"What do we do now?" He half whispered.

"What can we do?"

He had no answer. He had an unpleasant feeling in the back of his mind that in another world, he would have seized the moment and just kissed her there and then, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not with the situation she was in.

"We should go," she managed eventually.

He realised that they'd finished their tea and that time had flown past quicker than he was used to.

"Yeah."

He quickly grabbed a few weapons from his cupboard and met Temari at the door to his apartment.

"Okay?"

"Yup."

Ino was waiting for them at the BBQ shop when they got there. She'd saved them a booth and was already flicking through a menu that she probably knew off by heart already.

"Hey guys!" She said happily as she saw the two of them stroll in.

They smiled and sat down side-by-side opposite her.

Shikamaru hadn't put much thought into the fact that he was on the outside until he saw Temari squirm a little to his right. Instantly, he stood and moved out of the booth.

"Sit on the edge," he told Temari, who gave him a grateful smile before swapping with him.

"Thanks."

A small smile graced Ino's lips as she watched the pair of them interact with each other.

Now sandwiched between Temari and the wall, Shikamaru wondered how he could have been so stupid not to have noticed that the confined space would have been an obvious trigger for Temari's anxieties.

"You okay, Shika?" He heard Ino ask. "You look like you've seen a ghost..."

"I'm fine. Sorry."

Ino and Temari observed him for a moment before he rolled his eyes and mumbled "troublesome", relieving the two of them.

Ino turned back to the salad page of the menu ("I don't want to date a boy who has a better waistline than me!" "I'm sure he didn't mind last ni-" "Shut _UP_ , Shikamaru!") but he caught Temari double taking him.

She settled her hand down on the table and drummed an uneven rhythm onto the wood as sizzling sounds from grills swallowed the air around them. It took Shikamaru a split second to process the fact that she was communicating in Morse.

' _You sure you're okay?'_

 _'Absolutely.'_

 _'Don't feel bad. You did nothing wrong.'_

How had she known why he felt guilty? Was it that obvious?

 _'Troublesome'_

Temari stifled a laugh behind her hand before bringing it back to the table.

' _How are Ino and Sai doing?'_

 _'Pretty good. From what I've noticed anyway. She's happy.'_

 _'She was certainly happy last night, I could hear them through the walls.'_

 _'Oh for Fucks sake. I know Morse too.'_

They both glanced up from each others' hands to see Ino raising an eyebrow at them.

"What?" She said out loud. "You think someone who's father worked with codes doesn't know Morse? I mean come _on_ guys, ninjas are supposed to be discreet, and you guys weren't even _trying_!"

Temari snorted and Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck.

"Seriously," Ino huffed. "Get a room, you two..."

She trailed off as she realised the implications of her words and she dropped her gaze, ready to mumble an apology, but Temari simply laughed at the joke.

"Right," she chuckled, her words dripping with sarcasm.

After lunch, Ino handed them a scroll which she'd had Tenten seal for them, given that she was more skilled at those kinds of things.

"Tent, clothes, weapons and food."

She walked them to the village gates and promised Shikamaru that she'd explain everything to Kakashi.

"Safe travels you two!" She called cheerfully as they began to travel out of Konoha and towards Suna.

* * *

The rain began just as the sun began to sink at the horizon.

"Should we settle for the night?" Shikamaru suggested, breathing a sigh of relief at Temari's nod.

They opened the scroll and pitched the tent as fast as they could before slipping into it and laughing at the silliness of their situation.

"Two of the Shinobi war heroes: Defeated by rain." Temari laughed, pulling a blanket from her sack and tossing it to Shikamaru who gladly wrapped it around himself.

"We've made good time," Temari said, switching topics as easily as turning on a light. "At the speed we're going, we should make it to Suna in two days, though tomorrow we'll have to travel a bit slower in the morning because of the rain, and we'll account for it later in the afternoon..."

He watched her as she spoke, taking in all her little quirks that had worked their way into her habits. He couldn't help a small smile as he saw her smirk at him.

"... And then I agreed to marry him."

"Wait. _What_?" He suddenly snapped his attention back to her words and she burst out laughing.

"You thought I didn't notice you zoning out?" She asked, smiling teasingly at him.

"Wh-I... What's this about you getting married?" He blurted, not caring that he sounded like an idiot.

"I'm not. I just wanted to focus your attention back on me."

He sighed a breath of relief and finally let out a chuckle.

"Troublesome woman," he laughed. _Giving me a damn heart attack._

Before they realised it, both of them were sprawled on the ground laughing for no reason at all other than exhaustion and pent up emotions.

When the sounds died down, they were left staring at each other as they lay side-by-side with flushed cheeks and heaving breaths.

"Thanks, Shikamaru," Temari said tentatively, glancing down at their hands which had somehow ended up on top of each other. Not holding on, just resting.

"For what?"

"For everything. You didn't have to stay at Ino's and help me. You're a really good friend."

He shook his head and brought his hand to her chin, lifting it so that she was forced to look him in the eyes.

"Ino is a good friend," he said. "I didn't do much."

"That's not true," Temari frowned. "You shouldn't think that. Really Shikamaru, you helped me a lot more than you think."

"Alright." He conceded, not wanting to push his luck. "But I didn't do it to be a good friend."

"Why then?"

How on earth could her eyes be that mesmerising in dim lighting? They pierced straight through to his soul and he vaguely considered kissing her right there and then, but he stopped himself before he could take action on that thought.

Their friendship had grown and strengthened over years, and the idea of letting that relationship unravel because of a stupid decision seemed unbearable.

"I did it because I care for you a lot, Tem. It hurt me to see you in pain."

She smiled softly at him and glanced down again before scooting forward and resting her forehead against his.

"That's what friendship is, isn't it?"

"I guess," Shikamaru admitted, feeling his chest tighten and stomach tingle at their close proximity.

"That's how we are, isn't it? Friends?"

And her eyes were on his again, and everything seemed so still. Even though it was raining outside the tent. Even though the wind stirred around them. They were frozen in an empty space where there was nothing but each other.

He opened his mouth to answer, wondering where they were really, and when the line had been crossed.

"No."

She seemed to release a breath of tension that neither of them had noticed she'd been holding in for a long time.

"Continue."

"We're in a state of flux." He murmured, pulling away from her a bit to look her in the eyes. "And there's no getting out."

"You're wrong."

He stared at her and felt his heart speed up with fear: Had he said something stupid? Had he messed it all up with one stupid sentence?

Before he could come up with any more self-accusations, he saw her move closer to him in a single smooth motion and press her lips gently to his.

"That is," She continued, as a dark red colour dappled across her cheeks and she avoided his gaze. "If you want to leave that state of flux."

In a beat, his hand had cupped her cheek and brought her face to his again.

"I'm in if you're in." He panted, pulling apart breathlessly and trying to contain the grin that was spreading across his face like wildfire.

"I'm in."

* * *

 **A/N: I know, I know, not a great ending, sorry.**

 **I'm too busy for quality, so here's my best for this one moment in time.**

 **It's currently almost midnight where I live and I have classes early tomorrow, so I seriously need to go to bed!**

 **I'll get to reviews tomorrow, but there was one person who mentioned a few grammar mistakes (thank you, btw) I wanted to know if you guys think I might need a Beta? Like, is it very bad? Bearable? English isn't my first language so I'm not a very good judge for these things!**

 **I also posted a Shikatema one-shot during my lil pause a few weeks ago and you should absolutely check it out (cos nobody has read it and that makes me kinda sad because it's my most experience-based story so far oops) and it's called Monday Blues (crappy title lol)**

 **Thankyou for all the lav and support, lil fireflies!**

 **Please follow fave and review!**

 **~Lee 💛**


	7. Read me!

**[** ** _AN]_** _hey hi hello greetings etc, ChlorineObsession here ?_

 _I'm sorry for making an entire chapter dedicated to an authors note. I would only read this if you are genuinely interested in my fics because it's kinda long and probably boring *but* You might be interested by this so here we go!_

 _I have spent the past few weeks wondering whether or not to just delete the stories that I haven't completed yet along with possibly disabling my account. This isn't because of anything specific, I just haven't been feeling particularly capable of finishing a lot of the works I'd started, and I also have exams in June which are pretty much gonna decide whether or not I'm getting the scholarship I've been working towards for the past 3 years, so I suppose I've been rather busy._

 ** _However._**

 _Writing does bring me a lot of joy, and I've begun writing for a different fandom on a different site. I've made some incredible friends through this fandom and it made me realise how detached this community is, which is why I've decided that instead of just scrapping what I've got so far, I want to try improving it instead._

 _After my exams in June, I will begin working on remastered versions of all the fics I decide to continue with, as well as reaching out to people for support with these fics._

 ** _This is where you come in!_**

 _I'll be looking for some help and outside opinions regarding how I change my stories and perhaps start some new ones. This will be in the form of editors, beta readers and just anyone willing to listen to my rambling._

 _For this, I'm hoping to set up a discord server. For anyone who doesn't use discord, it's an app usually used for gamers as far as I'm aware, but it's just really handy for communicating/planning and forming a community._

 _If you're interested in giving a hand, meeting other people within the fandom and also getting support for your own fics, hit me up in the comments or in pms. If I get enough interest, I'll launch this initiative and we can help boost this (kinda withering) community._

 _I'll add in more details if I see it fit to do so!_

 _Let me know what you think,_

 _~Lee_


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